Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Enjoy This Time, You Won’t Get it Back


This is a picture of me exactly one month before I met and fell for the guy who would become my husband .

Summer 2003

I know, I look so young and fresh-faced, without a care in the world, right?

Wrong.

The funny thing is that in the two years leading up to meeting my husband I had constant drama and worries about finding “the guy”. I feared that I would never “the one” and I’d be alone forever. (ya know, because that’s a legitimate worry for a 20-year-old, right?).

I stressed out about every guy I crushed on, went out with guys who didn’t have real potential just so I wouldn’t be alone, and cried when I didn’t have a steady guy to bring to my sorority invites.

I wish I could go back and tell that 20-year-old girl “RELAX! You’ll meet him. Soon. And then you’ll never be single again. Never. So just enjoy this time right now. Because you won’t get back.”

I’m not saying that meeting my husband wasn’t one of the best things to ever happen to me. I’m saying that stressing about meeting a guy to marry didn’t make me meet him sooner. And I wasted a lot of tears and missed out on some fun times in my young life because I was too busy being sad about being single.

It’s funny (and scary) to think about how a week from now or a month from now your life could totally change. But today is just a normal day. You only later know that you were in the “final days” in retrospect. Like I look at the girl in that photo and smile because her life is about to totally change just 30 days later and she has no idea. And it’s going to amazing, but different.

Why I am talking about this?

Because right now I’m in a season of life where a large part of me wants so badly to move onto the next phase of life. Babies, play dates, balancing work and family. All that.   

But the fact is, we don’t have control of most of the timing in our lives.

So I’m trying to not wish away the present time by wondering “when?” Or live in fear of “will this ever happen?”

Because someday (hopefully) I’ll look back on today and see that my life changed dramatically in just a few short months or years. These were the “final days” to enjoy. And I’ll never get these days back.

31 comments:

Stephie @ Our Marriage Adventure said...

Amen! I'm struggling with this a tad myself and we're coming up on our 3rd anniversary.

Christine said...

Thanks for saying exactly what i have been trying to remind my self of. Enjoy today is a great way to live life!

Rachel said...

Beautiful post, friend :) I love your honesty and you are SO right. I am so guilty of wishing parts of my life away, but these seasons that we go through, really are gifts. Big hugs :)

Dee Stephens said...

Been there too! As you know.. email with questions..

Linnea said...

Great post, and a great reminder for us all. I too, know exactly what you mean!

Renise said...

In a few short months, I'll celebrate my 31st birthday, and a few months after that, I'll celebrate my 2nd anniversary. And I have times where I want to rush into the next phase of life. Babies, playdates, pta etc... Your post was right on time for me. I certainly don't want to look back and wish I had enjoyed these times just a little more!

Anonymous said...

WORD!

Chic Runner said...

Such a good post and I'm glad you are taking the time to enjoy the time you have together :) Hope SD is tons of fun. I miss you!

Anonymous said...

Great post! I remember feeling the same way when we were struggling to get pregnant and I'm trying to remind myself all over again as #2 has already taken over a year longer than we were wanting.

Carly Anne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Carly Anne said...

This is so totally accurate. I can remember, very clearly, just dying for a baby (and probably missing out on good things because of it). Now that I'm 19 weeks pregnant, I'm already reminiscing about the "just us" time that my husband and I will never experience again. It's cliche but true - you've got to cherish every phase of life.

The Mrs. said...

I have the same worries... and I know that my anxiety over the "i want a baby NOW" issue doesn't get me there any quicker. So glad to see your honesty in this post.

prince snow farm said...

It's a tough one. I got married at 30, first baby at 33 and second at 38. Sometimes I wish I had started earlier, only because we are 46 and 52 with an 8 yr old. It also took us 2 years to get pregnant the first time.
On the flip side, I'm glad we were definitely ready!

Renda said...

I love your words !
Next week, we have been married for 4 years. We said 4 years ago that we would try for a family after our 4 year marker. Well.. we didn't plan on infertility. We also didn't plan on going back to college so that I can become a teacher. So next week is bittersweet, a tear for what could have been and joy for what is to come.

Sarah said...

What a great post! I felt the same way when I was 20 and I'd have to remind myself that God has a plan for me even if I don't quite understand it. And now that I'm getting ready to turn 31 and will be celebrating my 4 year anniversary with my husband soon I'm having to remind myself of this fact everyday and I honestly do tell myself to enjoy this time right now because when this season is over I don't want to regret not taking advantage of it to the fullest. : )

Katie said...

Now that we bought this new house, I feel like everyone is waiting for us to fill the rooms with babies, and we are NOT there yet! I so badly just want to enjoy life and do all those projects on the house!

This was a great reminder to not worry about all that and just enjoy it!

labride said...

You couldn't be more right, I was the same way. I still am, I catch myself wishing this season away and wanting to settle down so badly. But it will come at the appropriate time and I'll wish for the childless apartment days again.

Flmgodog said...

I get it! I have so been there. For our five year anniversary we got our daughter and for ten years we got the boys.
Life never happens how you think it will. It IS hard to wait.

Just remember you are awesome AND if you want something to happen one way or another it will it just may not be how you planned.

Lindsay said...

I love it when you put into words exactly who I am. Then your commenters jump in and I remember how NOT alone I am in my waiting and wishing. I did the same thing through most of my 20s and once I found my husband it was such a breath of relief. Now I'm turning 30 and hoping for the same things. Glad others are waiting patiently (or trying!) right along with me.

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

Exactly! I know what you are going through! It'll happen!

Lea said...

You have perfectly captured my own thoughts! We are trying to decide if we should have kids right now and while part of me really wants to, I don't want to lose this time that we have right now. It's so precious!

Jessica @ Wanting Adventure said...

I feel like I could have written this post myself! I want to get my husband out of law school and on to our "real life" - but right now, I'm trying to breathe and enjoy this time we have, just loving each other and spending time together just the two of us.

Ashlee said...

Great post!

Rachel @ Little Kitchen, Big Bites said...

so well put and thank you so much for writing this! hubby and i are in the same place right now and i think i need to learn to let it go and enjoy the moment a little more.

Rachel @ Little Kitchen, Big Bites said...

so well put and thank you so much for writing this! hubby and i are in the same place right now and i think i need to learn to let it go and enjoy the moment a little more.

leah @maritalbless said...

So true friend. So true.

Elizabeth said...

I can't relate to the baby part, but the husband part totally hit home...except I'm going to be 36 next week and I'm tired of waiting, but I'm also sure that whatever I'm waiting for will be worth it.

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