Not in Control

I am one of the most "Type-A" people you will ever meet.

I plan things.

I live my life according to calendars, bulleted lists, and spreadsheets.

My organizational abilities have been praised by bosses, co-workers, friends, and family. In fact the Mr. even said he loved my "organizational skills" in our wedding vows.

I have a false sense of security that if I plan, plan, plan I can control every outcome.

But sometimes, that's not the case.

Lately I feel like God is telling me that I can't always be in control. He's telling me that things will happen that throw every best laid plan out of the window.

Protesters will disrupt your wedding. Friends will betray you. Pets will get sick and die. The housing market will collapse. Volcanoes will erupt.

I sit here, four days away from our "trip of a lifetime" to Europe, incessantly checking Google News for the latest volcano updates. Currently many airports across Ireland, Scotland, Spain, Portugal, Germany, and Italy are closed due to a massive ash cloud looming over Europe. I have a pit in my stomach that our vacation will be disrupted or even canceled.

I'll admit that I feel anxious, sad, and even slightly bitter. But I'm trying to change my attitude and learn the lesson that God wants me to learn, which is that I can't control some events, only how I react to them. Because as far as disappointments go, missing a trip to Europe, wasting my vacation days, and losing a chunk of change, does not make a tragedy. But perhaps my reactions to smaller setbacks in life will help to prepare me for bigger ones.

I am constantly in awe of amazing ladies who's lives I follow via their blogs: Megan, Kelly, Katie, Kelle, and many more. They have faced and do face adversity with such grace, hope, poise, prayer, and faith that I often wonder if I could do respond similarly in their situations. And if I'm completely honest with myself, the answer today is probably "no", but my new prayer is that someday I could. The preparation begins now.