Sunday, May 09, 2010

Not in Control

I am one of the most "Type-A" people you will ever meet.

I plan things.

I live my life according to calendars, bulleted lists, and spreadsheets.

My organizational abilities have been praised by bosses, co-workers, friends, and family. In fact the Mr. even said he loved my "organizational skills" in our wedding vows.

I have a false sense of security that if I plan, plan, plan I can control every outcome.

But sometimes, that's not the case.

Lately I feel like God is telling me that I can't always be in control. He's telling me that things will happen that throw every best laid plan out of the window.

Protesters will disrupt your wedding. Friends will betray you. Pets will get sick and die. The housing market will collapse. Volcanoes will erupt.

I sit here, four days away from our "trip of a lifetime" to Europe, incessantly checking Google News for the latest volcano updates. Currently many airports across Ireland, Scotland, Spain, Portugal, Germany, and Italy are closed due to a massive ash cloud looming over Europe. I have a pit in my stomach that our vacation will be disrupted or even canceled.




I'll admit that I feel anxious, sad, and even slightly bitter. But I'm trying to change my attitude and learn the lesson that God wants me to learn, which is that I can't control some events, only how I react to them. Because as far as disappointments go, missing a trip to Europe, wasting my vacation days, and losing a chunk of change, does not make a tragedy. But perhaps my reactions to smaller setbacks in life will help to prepare me for bigger ones.

I am constantly in awe of amazing ladies who's lives I follow via their blogs: Megan, Kelly, Katie, Kelle, and many more. They have faced and do face adversity with such grace, hope, poise, prayer, and faith that I often wonder if I could do respond similarly in their situations. And if I'm completely honest with myself, the answer today is probably "no", but my new prayer is that someday I could. The preparation begins now.

20 comments:

California Wife said...

As a fellow type-A personality, I feel your pain, not being able to control something is the absolute worst! It's definitely something I'm trying to work on too. I hope your vacation works out!

Lil' Woman said...

I'm a planner too but somethings are just out of our hands...I hope you can still make your trip

Alee said...

I'm the same way! Thoughts and prayers that your trip can go on as planned!

suburban prep said...

I pray things work out for you.
I totally understand where you come from in regards to planning. I get so stressed out when things are not planned out or go the way they should. ( I do usually try to hide this part of my personality).

Cari said...

I hope it all works out for you and that you have the wonderful vacation you plan on!

Maybe you can teach me to be a planner and to be organized! I am terrible!

Jess said...

The feeling of being out of control is unlike any other feeling.

I will pray that your trip works out!!

Blue-Eyed Bride said...

this is a great post. i hope your trip works out. but i feel the same way- i live for control and i feel like God wants me to slow down and trust him and stop planning.

Whitney Molder said...

You won!! :) YAY! And Beautiful post.

You sound like me.

Crazy Shenanigans said...

I'm crossing my fingers for you that everything works out!

the rigdons said...

i came across your blog from megan's. love the blog! hope everything works out for your trip!

Sweet Simplicity said...

I hope everything works out! I can only imagine how frustrated and stressed I would be.

Ally said...

Thinking of you!!!!

Naturally Caffeinated Family said...

Ohhh I hope it works out for you guys! We are Type A planners too, and are reminded many times that God is in control, and we need to pray, and plan what we can, and then leave the rest up to him (without worrying about it, SO hard sometimes! :)). :) I hope it works out friend!

mrs.leah.maria said...

It's so hard to stay relative of your personal struggles, but you're doing a great job!

Chic Runner said...

You... type a? NEVER! :) I hope things go smoothly for your trip and everything works out. I will be praying for you to not freak out over it! <3

Lindsay said...

Your blog is an inspiration! I love when others admit they are control freaks... just like me...

Tara Gibson said...

hope everything turns our good for your trip girl. I am a planner too.

Virginia Belle said...

I admire you for such an honest post. You hit the nail on the head when you said "I can't control some events, only how I react to them." This is something I definitely need to work on. I hope everything works out for your trip!

Fabiola said...

I am thinking of you. I just read all the Spanish airports are open.

I hope you trip is still in place; )

Jen said...

Aw, don't worry, you'll have a great time on your vacation; God will make sure everything works out in the way he thinks is best for you! You just have to let go of the reigns. ^_^

I'll be sending good thoughts and wishes your way!

Jen

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