Monday, September 28, 2009

10 Ways To Beat the Post-Wedding Blues

Recently, I was talking to a co-worker of mine who got married last month. I asked her how she was doing. And she replied that she felt “odd” now that her big day was over. Finally not in constant “wedding planning mode”. Not unhappy, but almost a feeling of “now what?”

I know that some people fell right into wedding bliss and were so-freakin'-glad to have all of the wedding planning behind him. But I think for many of us it’s natural to feel a little let down after all the hours, money, and passion you’d put into planning your wedding.

My co-worker got me thinking about the "post-wedding blues" and the ways that I beat them.

Therefore, I now present to you, dear readers, 10 Ways To Beat the Post-Wedding Blues.

1. Get organized
Through the magic of a wedding registry, you now have two sets of china, a Panini maker, guest linens, and more kitchen spoons than you know what to do with. Now is the time to get that house or apartment organized!

Use some of you wedding cash and head to the Container Store, Bed Bath & Beyond, or Target to buy some organizing gear. Think about adding shelving in your living room, kitchen, and spare rooms. Buy kitchen cabinet organizers, closet organizers, under the bed boxes, and bathroom organizers. Trust me, a little bit of organization early on goes a long when you’re adding a deluge of new stuff to your newlywed home.

2. Write thank you notes!
In this technological era, a hand-written note is so meaningful, so be sure to write those thank you notes. Set aside a fun night to bake some treats and have some wine with the hubby while writing thank you notes. Use the time to reminise about the sweet things family members said to you at the wedding or how funny his fraterity brothers danced at the wedding.

I ordered some really cool photo-collage thank you cards and through the magic of wine and cookies we finished writing almost all of them in one night!

3. Create Wedding a Wedding Shadow Box and Mementos Box
After your wedding you end up with a lot of wedding crap memorabilia left sitting around or stored in your house/apartment. And if you're like me, you may have worked really hard on some Wedding DIY Projects, so you don't want to just toss all of the stuff or shove it in your Mom's attic. So display your favorite wedding memories in a Shadow Box. Such as the invitation, program, ribbons, a favor, and some pictures.

Then save some other key mementos (like place cards, RSVPs, some flowers, or some of your favorite cards in a beautiful box)

Then toss the rest. I'm talking about business cards from vendors you never use, scribbled notes of ideas, or the 50 leftover programs you might have. Yes, it’s painful, but remember, you’re saving the stuff you care about most.

Here is the Shadow Box that I created:

4. Share the Love
As a former bride, you’re in a unique position to share your wisdom and experience with others. Have a wedding planning binder? Have a wedding “workplan” in excel like I did? Have really cool word doc templates for programs or placecards? Package it all up and give it to the next bride-to-be you know.

I “scrubbed” all of the documents that I used to plan our wedding – like our budget template, guest list template, day-of agenda, wedding workplan, and program template and put it all in a .zip file. I now have sent the package to at least 10 brides-to-be who are friends, or friends-of-friends. It’s a cool feeling to know that your hard work lives on!

5. Get Your Wedding Pictures in Order

Plan out your wedding album and order it (I'll admit, I have not yet done this! Yikes!). Get some great 5x7 and 8x10 wedding pictures made and frame them. The longer you wait, the harder it is, so just get it done. Also get pictures framed for your family and friends who were in the wedding as part of your order. They make great birthday or Christmas gifts.

6. Throw a Party!
You have great newly-acquired party planning skills and I’m betting that you have all kinds of new serving platters and pitchers to hostess with.

Throw a fun theme party or you could invite family and close friends who were at your wedding and use this opportunity to share your wedding video and/or pictures.

7. Join a group
While you’re planning your wedding, you’re part of solid community of vendors, bridal party, family, and guests. Plus if you chat on Wedding Bee, Style Me Pretty, or the Knot then you’re part of a “bride-to-be club”

After you’re married, you could end up feeling like you’ve lost that exclusive community.

Start a Newlywed blog and/or chat with other newlywed women on The Nest, Elizabeth Anne Designs Living, She Just Got Married, or another online community.

Also look for opportunities to connect with other newlyweds in your community through church or philanthropy. If you can’t find other newlyweds to connect with, then join a young women’s book club, cooking class, alumnae organization, or running group. You’ll feel part of “the club” again in no time.

8. Do the Name Change (if you’re changing it)
(Ok, on this one, I’m definitely giving “do as I say, not as I do” advice since it took me a looong time to change my time and I still have credit cars and frequent flier accounts with my maiden name. Regardless…)

List out all the places where you need to change your name and begin the arduous process of changing it.

Hint: Start at Social Security and the DMV and branch out from there.

9. Get your Finances in Order
Money is major cause of marital discontent. So set a realistic budget with your husband and start managing your money wisely. Don’t worry if you don’t do well the first few months; it can take a while to get adjusted to the budget.

Tips: Join and/or manage your budget in Excel (I have a great template). Some fun advice can be found on Lean with Green.

To make it more fun to save, set some fun savings goals like “Europe Trip” or “New Flatscreen TV” and watch the money grow!

10. Find some Décor Inspiration and do some Nesting

We’ll all admit it, one of my favorite things about planning a wedding was the “Wedding Porn” – you know, beautiful photography of garden ceremony sites, rows upon rows of escort cards, lavish table settings, 6-tier cakes. Spend an hour at Style Me Pretty and you’ll know what I mean. I still swoon looking at this stuff.

Why not add some entertaining and home décor blogs to your internet “ohhing and ahhing” and start capturing ideas for your current or future home?

Some home décor blogs/websites that I love are:
Apartment Therapy
Elizabeth Anne Designs
Young House Love
Hostess with the Mostess
Urban Nest
Design Sponge
Brooklyn Limestone
Rate my Space

Apply your wedding planning skills - like bugeting, theming, shopping, and priortizing - to nesting. You can do a lot of fun decorating with a not-so-big budget!

I'm sure there are many many other great ways to beat the post-wedding blues, and I'd love to hear those from you! Leave a comment to let me know how you beat the post-wedding blues.

PS- I'm you're interested in any of my wedding planning template, budget worksheet, or any other details that I posted above, feel free to email me at


Naturally Caffeinated Family said...

I love your list! I love what you did with your thank you cards, so cute, I bet everybody loved them! and I still love seeing your wedding pics, beautiful! I am going to be all about those decorating sites, I would love to fancy up our master and the guest room and I could definitely use some new inspiration!

Lil' Woman said...

I'm not even engaged yet, so I have a while till I get the after wedding blues! :) Thanks for the tips tho!

Sweet Simplicity said...

Thanks for posting all the design links. I can't wait to look through them all!

Linda said...

Find something to plan! A birthday party, a holiday party something to fill up your time. Then remember what you used to do before wedding planning (scrapbooking, running, reading) and start to fill your time with those activities again.

Jessica said...

These are great tips. :) I love remembering my wedding time. I want to go home and watch our video now!

Sara said...

All great suggestions. Another thing I recommend is getting involved somewhere together. Whether it's at church or volunteering. It's a great way to keep spending time together and building a foundation.

ingrid said...

great list! I especially love #7... after spending over a year on the knot planning my wedding, i became really good IRL friends with a few of the brides on there. it's been an amazing support group for me. and of course, i love reading this blog!

Lucy Marie said...

This is a great list. I think lots of us experience this let down .. I think it happens whenever you are "done" with a big exciting thing in your life (getting married, having a baby, buying a house). You feel like you spent all this time planning and now it's over. :) Thanks for sharing your tips

kjlangford said...

Get a pet together! That's what J and I are working on right now... it's fun surfing for our favorite dogs, and I can't wait until we actually get one!

Lindsey said...

Love this list! There are some great ideas on here!!

BudgetBabe said...

Thanks for the shout out! Love the other tips, too! :) I'll definitely have to cruise the design blogs - looks like fun!

Elizabeth said...

I think throwing a party is the best thing you can do. I did it two months after my wedding and it made me feel so good. I also started taking on new tasks, like painting things, to keep me occupied. Love this post.

Happiness Is... said...

The post-wedding blues are so normal and widespread, yet no one lets you in on that secret until you're married! I found that all of my friends went through that, but you only talk about it with your married friends. I imagine giving birth is the same way - ha!

Love your memory box!

Brittany Ann said...

Nesting afterward was my favorite part!

Megan said...

I love love love your shadow box!! I want to make one now! I never had the post wedding blues because we had such a short engagement, I was just ready for it to be over! I will definitely be putting together a shadow box like that soon, I saved everything and haven' wanted to part with it just yet!

Meant to be a mom said...

Ha, I love it. Your so inspirational and I absolutely loved your little personalized pictures next to each number. Super cute! I think all women should see this post right after the big day. It is an adjustment ones its all over.

Katie said...

great wedding photo!

In this wonderful life... said...

I think these are SUCH wonderful tips!!! I hope lots out there follow the advice! :)

Belle said...

I just got married in June and completely agree with each and every point- especially the money part! Thanks for doing this...great ideas!

Sarah said...

This takes a little bit of planning of ahead of time, but I think it's a great idea.

If you're getting married, register on It's a free wedding registry service that lets you register for EXPERIENCES instead of for things.

That way, your guests can "give you" activities to do together during your newlywed year. Beat the wedding blues with cooking classes, a skydiving trip, dance lessons, a beach vacation... whatever you thought of to put on your registry!

Simchabucks said...

SimchaBucks offers you a great way to keep track of the gifts you got for your wedding and the thank-you notes you sent. Let us know what you think

Kristin said...

You were a stunning bride. I love that bouquet! What do you have for me? I'm 2.5 years post my big day and still wish it wasn't over. Ah ha. I posted my wedding pics yesterday and it made me want to do it all over again!

Nicole-Lynn said...

Great ideas :)

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