Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Feeling Blue

If you haven't noticed, my blog is generally really upbeat because I am actually a really upbeat person. I'm usually smiling, laughing, telling an animated story, and generally loving life. I think I laugh more at work than is generally considered normal.

But today I am feeling sad and I don't want to hide it.

Last week I found out that my Grandmother has breast cancer. She is my only living grandparent and is so dear to me. Although the prognosis is not horrible, it really hit me hard when my Mom told me this weekend that we're likely cancelling our family Christmas Cruise because this could be her last Christmas and she won't be able to come on the cruise with us now. She's been there for almost every Christmas of my life and thought of her not being there is just so sad.


(My Grandma, Dad, and me on her 90th birthday last summer)

Also this morning I found out that my friend from High School's Dad passed away yesterday. Are we really old enough to be losing our parents yet?


Also this isn't even in the same ballpark as those reasons, but on Monday the Mr. and I spent all afternoon making a clam chowder with clams that he himself clammed in Oregon and brought back home for us, and the chowder turned out just awful. Somehow the cream base tasted really yucky. The Mr. hid it well, but I think he was really sad. It made me realize that I am, in fact, a really horrible cook. I finally faced it, I'm just bad. Ladies there is a reason I don't do "Menu Mondays." I know it's 2009, but I feel like a failure as a wife due to my complete lack of culinary skills.

Oh and, our kitchen still has a faint clam smell to remind me of the disaster. Lovely.

And finally, the blog URL migration is still in progress, so I know that some things are bit funky and maybe your links to the Newlyweds Next Door have not migrated yet. Sorry about that. Worse is that somehow in the migration I lost my entire "blog role"/links list. Not cool, blogger. Not cool.

Ok, I'm done. Upbeat blogging starts back up again tomorrow.

32 comments:

Blablover5 said...

I'm so sorry about your grandmother. I lost my only grandmother to breast cancer when I was younger. It's a terrible sentence but hopefully they have much better treatments nowadays.

I know how you feel about being a total failure when something fails miserably in the kitchen. I think I have a modicum of talent but when something goes wrong (like say when I set a chicken on fire on Monday) I just get so pissed at myself for no good reason.

Damn sociological training that the kitchen is woman's domain.

Linda said...

Sorry it's a blue day for you.
I hope you get to spend lots of time with your Grandma this year and I hope that her breast cancer is treatable. She could beat it and live many more happy years.
I don't menu plan cause I'm lazy. I don't think that makes you a bad wife! At least you tried clam chowder. I think it would be a little difficult to make with fresh clams.

Mrs.Dimple said...

Awww... you have EVERY right to be "down-beat" today. Sorry all this is going on :(

(and, by the way, Blogger erased all my links once too...stupid thing)

Gwen said...

Oh honey. Thank you for sharing your troubles with us. I am lifting your Grandma, you & your family in my prayers. I will also pray for your friends family.

On a lighter note we all have those dishes that fail horribly. I had a meatloaf that would seriously not stay together and I remember hearing of my mom's concrete gravy more than once. The best thing is that you tried and now you have a story to tell for years to come.

XOXO

a H.I.T. said...

I'm sorry my dear. My heart and prayers go out to you. An no worries. Everyone feels blue once in a while.

Cristina said...

I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother! We are never old enough to lose our parents - how can anyone prepare for the loss of a loved one, but it's not our plan so we just have to pray.

And don't beat yourself up about not being a great cook...as long as you can boil water then you're laughing, not all of us are born Rachel Ray!

Katie said...

I'm sorry to hear about your grandma! If she has stayed strong this long, at 90!!, she definitely won't let this bring her down.

I suck at cooking. Don't feel like a failure! This is 2009, working women don't have time to be Betty Crocker anymore!

Pink Pearls & Muddy Sneakers said...

I am so sorry :( Hang in there - we're thinking of you!

Trish said...

I am so sorry to hear your bad news. Grandmothers are wonderfully special ladies!!!

Future Mrs. H said...

Aw I am so sorry you are feeling blue. I know what its like when it seems everything around you is falling apart. Hang in there though...things will get better!!

And about the cooking - some people are just not meant to be chefs!! Maybe you can take a cooking class if you are really upset about it though. =0)

Cari said...

I'm sorry to hear about your Grandmother as well.

I am a bad cook too (except for a few things) and I'm sure my fiancee is scared....

I hope things will get better for you :)

Rachel said...

So sorry about your grandmother. It's so hard getting older, as our loved ones health starts to go down hill.

Saying some prayers for her and for you! Hang in there!

Becky said...

I hope you fell better soon! I only have one grandparent left too and she is turning 94 in a few weeks. For being 94 she is great, but I have a feeling things are going to go downhill pretty quickly and I will be VERY sad to see her go when she does. It's a fact of life...but no one said you have to be happy about it!

And I think I could probably cook if I really paid attention to every little detail, but I hate cooking. And i have messed up things pretty badly too! I used MIL's special pasta sauce that is ONLY supposed to be used with spaghetti and cooked it with some leftover chicken. DH was really sad about that one.

Keep your chin up!!!

*~! megs !~* said...

oh hon.. I'm so sorry about your grandmother.. I'll definitely be praying for you!!

And I'm a horrible cook too! It's so freakin' bad. I give up though... I keep trying and I swear I'm getting worse so.. oh well! At least the hubs likes to cook!!

Brittany Ann said...

Oh, dear, hang in there! I'm sorry for the suffering of those close to you and yourself.

And it makes you feel any better, I wouldn't know the first thing to do with clams or a cream base. You are not alone!

Mr. and Mrs. Happily-ever-after said...

I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother...my grandfather was really sick and it helped me to think about how lucky I am to have had him in my life for so long, and what a great, long life he lived...AND, you're so not alone with the whole cooking thing - I messed up making jello for my husband when he was sick once.

Sarah said...

Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry about your grandmother!!! When it rains it pours huh!? I'm sorry you're having a sad day and I hope it gets better and don't be hard on yourself for feeling like this, you are definitely entitled to have a bad, sad, whatever kind of day you need. We're here for you!!! big hugs!!! : )

Denae said...

My thoughts go out to you and your family. Reading your blog, it feels like I know you. I hope you find peace. :( I'm beginning to realize that you really need to trust in God, the angels and miracles in times like this. Try and keep your chin up, girl!

Miss Adventure said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your Grandmother. I lost my Grandfather when I was in 7th grade. He was the first person I lost that I was close to. As I get older, I realize that my loved ones will be leaving me...but I am glad that I have realized this, because it gives me a chance to make an effort to be involved in their lives more than I would have been before. I guess what I am trying to say is that by realizing the bad in life, we can choose to focus on the good things, on our strengths, because in the end, that's all you can do.

Jess said...

I'm so sorry you're having a hard week.

I'll pray for your grandmother.... and for your friend.

Naturally Caffeinated Family said...

awww i'm so sorry to hear about all of that! saying a prayer for you, grandma, and friend (and that the next time you make chowder (or anything) it comes out rockin!=))!

Jennifer said...

i'm so sorry to hear you are having such a bad week. i'll be praying for you, your grandmother, and your friend.

Lucky in Love said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother! She will definitely be in my prayers...as well as you!

Sweet Simplicity said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma. Man you have had a rough little patch. I will be thinking about you.

Rachel said...

I'm really sorry to hear about your bad news. Those are both more than adequate reasons to be "blue". I hope things start to get better for you, and I'm keeping your grandmother in my thoughts.

On the cooking thing... don't worry about it. Cream based chowder soups are not easy. I'm sorry about the clams - I would have been bummed too. But you just need to have a little confidence. There's no way to learn except to try.

Take care - and by the way, I'm totally jealous of your water view from your condo!!

...Mrs. Southern Bride... said...

Sorry to hear of your Grandma! Blessings to your family!

newlyweds said...

That is very sad news, and you have a right to feel down about that. I will keep your grandma in my prayers. Also sorry to hear about your friends loss that is really sad. And yes we are too young to be losing parents.

Lil' Woman said...

Aww sweetie, my cooking skills are completely below par, atleast you try, I barely can boil water

The Browns said...

I'm sorry about your grandma. Me & Becky lost our papa last fall & it still doesn't seem real to me that he is gone. I still feel like I'll see him & hear his voice when I go home. It is so hard losing a loved one, but I take comfort knowing that he is in heaven & one day I will see him again.
I just saw your blog today & I will keep up with ya girlie ;)

BLC :o said...

Bless your heart. I will be thinking and praying for you and your family (esp. your g-ma). Also, she looks super hip in the picture! Chin up and sending much love your way. Xoxo-BLC

My name is Megan... said...

I hope you are feeling better pretty girl!! so sorry about your grandmother's cancer. I hate that!

Saskia said...

Sorry that I'm only just commenting now, I was away last week.

I'm so sorry to hear the news about your grandmother... what a shock the news must have been. I really hope the doctors have caught it early and she responds well to the treatment.

Thinking of you x

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